Dorky Goodness

A teacher is explaining biology to her 5th grade students “Human beings are the only animals that stutter”, she says.

A little girl raises her hand, “I have a kitty-cat who stuttered”, she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. “Well”, she began, “I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler
who lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!”

“That must’ve been scary”, said the teacher.

“It sure was”, said the little girl.

“My kitty went “Fffff, Fffff, Fffff,…and before he could say “Fuck”, the rottweiler ate him!”

A buddy found this for me.  Heh.

Listen

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6551185.stm

Yeah.  I prefer pavement and fastidiously maintained parks.

I just lit a grape on fire!  How __ing cool is this:

 If you cut a green grape in half and leave just a bit of skin between the two halves and stick it in the microwave for about a minute it bursts into flame!  Mwahahahahhahahahahhahaha!  I am so amused.

 Guess what.  I have permission to bring a bunch of grapes to work tomorrow.  Say bye-bye to the cafe!

Heh heh heh.

http://www.otb-games.com/news/A2A_LDS.html

I wonder if the LDS version will include the “Trip to Vegas for the Marriage/Nookie/Annulment/Trick God” card?  My understanding is this is a BYU favorite.

http://featherjournal.blogspot.com/2007/02/here-birdy-birdy-birdy.html

So one of my coworkers was chatting about a premise of global warming making the earth fairly unlivable.  Which is actually pretty impressive for him as he’s not the most imaginative individual I’ve ever met.  Upon further discussion (centering around a recent discover of nifty new octopus species discovered in Antartica) we thought it’d be cool to hypothosize about what the melting ice caps in Antartica might reveal if Lovecraft was right.

 For those of you who’ve read “Mountains of Madness” know what I’m talking about.  If Ry’leh is revealed and thawed that’d be a really bad thing - at least for the average mortal.  My lil’ boy is probably safe ’cause he’s well versed in the appropriate homage to the nasty tentacled thing that’ll likely rise out of the depths and destroy humanity.  I hope he’ll grant me demi-god status at least…

 But it’s a delicious idea for a story.  The ice caps melt, the eldar gods wake up and proceed to strip humanity of it’s sanity.  I’m all over that.  And there’d be tentacles.  Which are always slick.

 Tune in next week when we discuss the dangers of artic drilling and the release of the Black Spiral Dancers.

http://featherjournal.blogspot.com/2007/01/me-football.html

 Oi.  I just don’t know what to say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHF483cuzuY&mode=related&search=

This is why the magnificent developers of Eve Online won’t let you leave your ship.  Oi.

http://search.cpan.org/~gryphon/Lingua-ManagementSpeak-0.01/lib/Lingua/ManagementSpeak.pm

This has got to be the silliest perl module evah.