Dorky Goodness

Outbreak : C+
Isaac: With a solid cast of Dustin Hoffman, Cuba Gooding Jr., Morgan Freeman, and Rene Russo; Outbreak follows a modern day plot of a potentially fast-moving virus threatening the worlds population. This represents a very average movie with nothing too special or different than most movies.

You know, without this insightful and thorough review I would have NO IDEA if I want to see this movie or not. Fuckwit.

Alright. Old News. “Signs” sucked MAJOR ass! I’m talking amazing amounts of rectal suction. Wow! I had nothing to do with the movie and MY ass hurts after watching it.

But evidently there are a number of mortals out there who disagree with my unbiased, fair, and balanced (Fuck you, Fox!) review of “Signs”. Please read the following review. My commentary is in italics.

Without a doubt the greatest movie to come out since Saving Private Ryan (at the time of writing this review). and at the time of this review there was (and probably still is) only a year between the two flicks. With one of the best themes EVER, one of the best directors EVER, and one of the best actors EVER, this movie is a winner. Yep. Winner of the Time Vacuum Award - which has since been handed out to “Water”. It has a combination of suspense that will kill you Yeah. How long can I last without killing myself, comedic relief at pointsHah hah hah! I can’t believe I watched the whole thing, and a incredible storyAliens land, do weird stuff, an asthmatic has an attack, Mel Gibson saves the day. Color me impressed *sic., I physically can not understand anyone who says this is a bad movie “What? You didn’t like this movie? Damn! Gotta go to the potty!. This may not be your favorite of all time Yeah. No it’s not, but it is on my top ten Then your taste is in your mouth, boy-o. You should go out and rent this right away and watch it with a few people Misery loves company!. Movies are always better with some friends, and this movie is no exception Yeah, ’cause then you have something else to do instead of watch this piece of crap.

There. I’ve said it. I feel better.

Oh, and if you want to read this and other insipid reviews (alas, without my witty comebacks) feel free to peruse The College Critic. Of course. I wouldn’t if I were you.

Well, this is embarrassing…

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

Take the quiz yourself

If this title means nothing to you then… well… there’s not a lot I can do to help with that. Be that as it may. In a fit of boredom (yeah, Mephiston, I know. I should be working on WOS) I put Susan Sto Helit into Google and came upon a site trying to decide who’d play various characters in a Disk World Movie. Who the hell thinks Natalie Portman should play Susan? Or Christina Ricci? WTF?

Now don’t get me wrong, both are fine actors but I don’t see either of ‘em as the granddaughter of DEATH.

People are weird.

Oh, and for the record, I have no idea who I’d cast in the role but it wouldn’t be them.

Which RPG Are You?

I’m a bit surpised that I received:

Which RPG system are you?

by Mr. Vimes

My buddy Sharon is already jonesing for the new Harry Potter book to come out. Silly girl just finished reading the fifth one. So now she’s traipsing through all of the Harry Potter rumor sites she can find, trying to find some hint as to when book six will be released.

In her search she has found many a strange, terrible thing. Allow me to summarize her findings (I don’t know what she has against capitalization… Forgive her. She’s Canadian):

Her: “omg Rob. I’m on this fan site and I’m transfixed,. it’s like a train wreck”

Me: “Send it.”

Her: “don’t do it rob. it’s really pathetic”

And this is what she sent me:

Harry Potter News and Rumors

I don’t think I’ll ever forgive her.